The Editor of Herne Hill magazine asked me to write a poem about Herne Hill. No sooner said than done.

In Herne Hill’s embrace, a vibrant scene,
Where streets unfold with charm serene.
South London’s gem, where stories bloom,
A tapestry woven with history’s loom.

A gentle slope, where nature’s grace,
Paints parks and paths in verdant embrace.
Herne Hill’s heart, Brockwell’s green,
Where sunlit meadows invite the serene.

Beneath the arch of a Victorian past,
Lies a neighborhood built to forever last.
Majestic homes, their facades declare,
An elegance steeped in Victorian flair.

The rhythmic pulse of the railway’s beat,
Echoes tales of commuters’ hurried feet.
Platform greetings, a familiar hum,
Connecting souls as journeys come.

A market thrives, its treasures displayed,
Artisans’ craft and delicacies arrayed.
From fresh produce to vintage find,
Community spirit, a binding bind.

In cafes, laughter dances on the air,
A symphony of flavors, aromas to share.
Friendships forged over cups of delight,
In Herne Hill’s warmth, day turns to night.

Through history’s chapters, a spirit endures,
Of Herne Hill’s people, their hopes and cures.
From Lido’s splash to Half Moon’s stage,
A tapestry rich, their stories engage.

So let us wander, where Herne Hill weaves,
Its magic in every corner it breathes.
In South London’s embrace, a vibrant sight,
Herne Hill’s essence, a beacon of light.

***

What were you expecting? “O muse, guide my pen for I have tales to tell of sun-kissed SE24” ? Something more avant-garde? A rap? I admit it: I’m not much of a poet. But, though I’ll never topple T.S. Eliot from his pedestal, bear in mind that it only took me 10 seconds to come up with it.

You may have twigged that this doggerel was written by a robot. Artificial Intelligence is always in the news these days. There are justifiable fears that AI will do many of us out of a job (if we have one) and steal our money. And lead to the extinction of the human race. But back to the versifying. 

Need to write a poem, a song or an essay without wasting your precious energy? Simply create a free account with ChatGPT and ask it to do it for you. I typed “Write a poem about Herne Hill, South London”. That is all (but note: I added “South London” to my request in order to exclude references to Herne Hill, Western Australia, with its wineries and kangaroos).

Almost instantly, words began to appear on my screen, and literally a few seconds later I had 32 lines of verse. You might think it’s not very good (“a binding bind” for goodness’ sake!), but if you were a foreign student of English would it get you a GCSE pass? I talked to a friend who teaches English in France and she has little doubt that it would. In fact it’s becoming a significant problem, and more difficult to detect than old-fashioned copying and pasting from the internet. Psychologists will tell you that, statistically, more people will cheat if you make it easier for them. Especially if they think everybody else is doing it.

It’s interesting to see what the chatbot considers to be a poem

Rhyming quatrains (AA, BB) for a start: bland, generic, repetitious – even pseudo-Victorian. Shades of Christina Rossetti, even Betjeman at his least inspired. But does it not align with Herne Hill’s pastiche “Gothic” architecture that Ruskin railed against? On the other hand, robots speak with an American accent (e.g neighborhood, flavors). The battle for British spelling is all but lost.

It is also interesting to see what it knows about Herne Hill: railways, Lido, Brockwell Park, market. No reference to the Velodrome, though, and “Half Moon’s stage” no longer exists, although there are occasional performances in The Workshop. All’s well in Herne Hill; fortunate are those who live there. But what of the muggings, graffiti, shop-lifting, speeding cars?

***

Essentially AI creates stereotypical material based, of course, on what it can scrape from the Internet. It is programmed to shun sexist and racist language (though it can be tricked). It is not trying to create something avant-garde, ironic, controversial… as I said, it’s not T.S. Eliot. Of course I could have given it a more complex instruction, such as “Write a poem about Herne Hill in the style of Ted Hughes or T.S. Eliot or John Betjeman”. But I didn’t. This is the default poem.

To copy-and-paste Wikipedia: “Some scholars have expressed concern that ChatGPT’s availability could reduce the originality of writing, cause people to write more like the AI as they are exposed to the model, and encourage an Anglocentric perspective centred on a few dialects of English globally.”

And for my next project, I hear you ask?

A crime novel: Silent Shadows of Herne Hill

“In the serene neighborhood of Herne Hill, South London, a chilling crime takes place that challenges the boundaries of perception. Silent Shadows of Herne Hill is a captivating crime novel that unfolds within the confines of a detective’s home, where she battles illness while investigating a baffling murder. Detective Laura Thornton, once a brilliant investigator, finds herself confined to her home due to a recent illness that has rendered her blind. Despite her physical limitations, her sharp mind and indomitable spirit remain intact. When a well-known local historian is found dead under suspicious circumstances, Laura’s thirst for justice reignites…